roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
