PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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