I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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