I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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