Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
