The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize