Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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