Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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