She said her name was "party"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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