My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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