I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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