I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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