scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
