just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
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