Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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