and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
