I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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