yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
