Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
