i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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