is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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