I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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