Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Do vagina's smell?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
