I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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