C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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