i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize