Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
