Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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