Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
