we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
only you would photoshop your dick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
