Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize