fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize