He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
this beer tastes like vomit already
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
