Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Your penis caused this!
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