I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
