is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
