Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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