So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
