Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
