On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
