I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
