for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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