idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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