TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
