im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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