dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
