i permit you to call me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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