Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
