Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
