Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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