You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
