i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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