Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?