I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.