Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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