does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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