I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
