what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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